Money Matters

As I pored over the family budget, I groaned and muttered to myself wondering how I would
meet all the bills. With a sympathetic pat on the shoulder, my wife said calmly, “Look on the
bright side. We could be poor instead of just broke.”

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Contributed by Joe Ryan

A certain theatrical producer is incapable of paying a bill without trying to get a reduction. When
his wife wanted to go to a psychoanalyst who charged $50 a session, the producer asked the
analyst, “So what happens if a patient doesn’t show up? Your $50 is lost, right?”

And he arranged for his wife to be a standby patient at $25 an hour.

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Leonard Lyons

I used to feel guilty about the burden I placed on the checkout clerk at the supermarket as I
approached with my massive collection of food to feed a family of ten. The one day, when I
started to voice my usual barely audible apology, the clerk gave me a beaming smile as he called
across to the manager, “It’s okay, boss, she’s here! You can go ahead and make up the payroll
now.”

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Contributed by Michaela F. Townsend